Dinner Party and Home Entertaining Etiquette for Hosts and Guests

Crafting an enjoyable dinner party is about more than food or attendance; it's about embracing the timeless grace of good etiquette amidst our high-tech lives. While today's gatherings are a far cry from the grandeur of Downton Abbey, the essence of proper manners remains as relevant as ever. As Riandi Conradie, founder of The South African Etiquette Academy, aptly puts it, "We expect a host to be good, but it goes both ways. Being a good guest is equally important and is likely to get you invited again.”

For a successful dinner party, hosts should focus on ambiance—soft lighting, a clean setting, and background music set the stage for a warm welcome. Preparation is key: have your dishes ready in advance to avoid kitchen chaos. Conradie offers sage advice: “If it’s a family event, asking a relative to assist is fine. For formal events, be ready before the guests arrive.”

Guests, too, play their part. Offering to pick up last-minute items or informing the host of any allergies is considered polite, but avoid presenting a laundry list of dietary preferences.

Punctuality is another pillar of party etiquette. "You should never be late," Conradie insists. Arriving within a quart d'heure de politesse (15 minutes of politeness in French) is acceptable, but never early. If you happen to arrive before the scheduled time, take a brief drive or wait in your car.

At the party, hosts should ensure guests are introduced, fostering a cheerful atmosphere. For seating, Conradie suggests, “For formal parties, use place cards. For casual gatherings, guests can choose their seats.”

Invitations in the digital age can be casual and often arrive via WhatsApp, but Conradie recommends that you still make effort with the wording and design of the electronic invitation. “Add a touch of formality by specifying a dress code. This sets clear expectations.” Guests should respond to invitations promptly and dress appropriately, always opting to dress a notch above the specified dress code.

When it comes to contributions, Conradie advises hosts to be clear about expectations: "Ask guests to bring specific items and inform them of what others are bringing." Guests should never arrive empty-handed; a thoughtful gift like chocolates, wine or a plant is a mark of good manners. "Take potted plants instead of cut flowers, and include a short note," she adds. If you do opt to take cut flowers, you should take a vase too.

Dining etiquette is straightforward: engage in conversation, offer to help with clearing, and most importantly, "Put down your phone," urges Conradie. “One or two photos is appropriate, but having your phone in your hand the entire evening is not.”

As a host, you can indicate at what time the party will be ending – especially for a more formal function. Alternatively just say the dinner party is ‘from seven until late’.

As the evening winds down, hosts should treat guests with respect, avoiding any hint to leave prematurely like switching off of lights or cleaning up. Guests should not overstay their welcome either but rather wait for a natural break in the evening before departing. “Never leave directly after the meal,” adds Riandi. “Only leave 30 minutes after the last part of the meal was served. Always thank the host personally.”

In conclusion, she emphasizes, “If unsure, ask. It’s better to be certain.” The true essence of a dinner party is to relish the company and forge lasting memories. By adhering to these etiquette guidelines, both hosts and guests can craft an enjoyable and memorable evening.

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Perfect Maxwell & Williams host gifts:

For cut flowers:

Maxwell & Williams Diamante Teardrop Vase, 25cm, CY0084, R 240.00

For a pot plant:

Maxwell & Williams Jardin Planter Pot (Camelia) by Gabby Malpas, 12cm

IA0241, R 199.00

For a perfect morning cup of coffee:

Maxwell & Williams William Morris Black Seaweed Coupe Mug, 420ml, WM0025, R 119.00

For her favourite tea:

Maxwell & Williams Dahlia Daze Tea for One With Infuser in Pink, 340ml, HV0353, R 699